Now it has been x weeks since I did that really bad thing

I started keeping track of time

When I was in fourth grade

And I hurried home

With the bright

Idea to stuff

Tissues

Into my

Shirt.

 

So,

The bus rolled up to the four way intersection

And I hurried home along Point Caution Drive,

And I opened the secret

Door in our driftwood fence and nervously sprinted

Down the pathway to my front door through the

Blips of sunlight serenely placed in the spring weather.

 

There was a vividness to spring at that age and it

Might only be because this was when I

Started keeping track of the seasons.

 

I opened the front door and my mom cooed to me that she was

Busy napping so I climbed up the staircase to our rooms and

Nervously, courageously pushed open my sister’s door

Knowing she wouldn’t be home for a bit

And I collected a wad of tissues from

Her dresser and stuffed them into

My shirt and then I walked over

To the mirror and with this

Strange foresight that

It mattered to

Genuinely

Want

To

Be a girl I

Said to myself…
“I like this!”

And I smiled,

It was not solemn at all.

 

And that’s when I started keeping track of time,

Because until the fourth grade,

Until that day my life had

More or less been a blur

Without much suffering

But then my life changed a bit,

Like the lives of many other human beings…

 

My life became, “Now, it has been x weeks since

I did that really bad thing.”

 

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