(this is from 2012 or 2013, approximately)

It’s the coolest shit ever,
Not the tv show,
Or the piano,
Or even the science,
It’s like it’s been there,
So many times,
Sitting behind the sidelines,
And just laughing.
You take a break,
While your friends laugh,
And reminisce,
About the previous moments.
What’s up?
NOTHING!
But seriously, what’s wrong?
And he just laughs and laughs,
And you know,
That this type,
Isn’t the speak,
Outlined,
Five lines above,
OH.
It’s like reality’s playing a cruel joke,
A cruel,
Cruel,
Joke.
And if you were younger,
It might help.
Burn up, and just die,
Watch yourself,
Die.
What?
You wonder,
How many superstars figured it out,
And didn’t tell anyone,
And how many superstars,
Never figured it out,
And never,
Ever,
Told no one how,
They felt,
Their entire lives.
It’s all right there,
And that’s what’s frustrating.

You want to scream out epically,
And remind the world that your part,
Is completed.
And it’s all over for now.
And that over,
Is everything.
But unfortunately,
And as truly,
As you’ve ever known,
It will never be over.
The chase,
Is the chase,
As long as it’s,
The chase.
A chase,
That can only chase,
Itself,
As long as we chase,
We,
Chase,
In a maze,
Lost,
In the maze,
Lost to the point of,
Insanity.
That’s life.
And your heart screams in,
Sorrowful fury,
Then wait,
ALL of that is,
Meaningless,
The line that means,
The,
Most.
Is.
Not.
The line.
Ha.
It’s hard to explain in words.
In words.
I mean, really.
There’s a point when you realize that your friends,

Were just,
Your friends,
For the present moment.
For music,
Reminds us.
Indefinitely.
In
Definitely.
That’s the other pure truth.
Music will always be there.
In your head,
In your world.
It never leaves.
What does that tell,
The,
Soul,
That,
Observes,
And,
Makes,
The,
Mistake,
Of,
Identifying.
Once again,
We find ourselves painting,
For years,
And years,
Like greek legend,
We lose ourselves.
And once again,
With tears,
Or music,
Or that,
I SCREAM!
Oh no,
My friends.
My cry,
Reminds,
That this poem,
Was written in transition to,
The bliss,
We all know,
Lies.

In.

You can do it,

I believe in you!

 

 

Whether it’s been a:

Day

Week

Aeon

Millenia

 

…

 

You can do it!

Although the spark itself is empty;

The parks hail with heavens…

 

Don’t reside;

Do what you have to do.

 

…

 

You might be surprised how much a little good

Can do.

 

Cry at lakes,

Hands in your face,

There’s no way to say…

What you can feel so deeply…

 

…

 

 

 

(sometimes)

More important than what you are doing

Is the practical method to make things

Better.

 

 

I know it appears through harshest light but

The purest visions always do…

 

 

I wish it was obvious enough…

 

In Buddhism, there is this notion of “Samsara”.  This is the world of desire – the universe of suffering that arises when we want things to be one way, when they are presently another way.  Samsara is a painful feeling.  For example, you might wake up on a perfectly fine morning.  The sun is shining, etc.  You put on some good music and cook breakfast.  Then, a little thought supposes itself…some predicament.  It’s the exact same thing as a cloud passing by overhead, but instead this is passing through your psychological life.

You might say, “My anxiety is telling me to do my taxes right now.  Surely, this is rational?  I have to do my taxes, or there will be consequences.”  True.  But it’s all about one’s relationship with that thought.  You must do your taxes, but your taxes also must do you.  Where’s the rush?

The best way to deal with Samsara is remain aware of it.  There is part of the mind that wants to see things change, and that’s a wonderful yearning.  But in order for things to change, you have to wait.  Waiting is boring.  It feels like the opposite of healing.  Samsaric logic believes that waiting will make the moon crash into the Earth…but interestingly, it only takes about a minute for things to refresh, and then you’re left wondering why waiting ever felt difficult.

Beautiful

 

You’re beautiful

Even when you fail…

 

You’re beautiful

Even if you mess it all up.

 

Even if a little voice says to do it right

And you do it wrong,

You’re still good.

 

The sun can impale me

And I’ll still say it…

We can move away from each other and I can lose sight of you

For a long time…

 

I don’t know what this world wants from me,

It wants something between sanity and madness.

 

But let’s stop for a second and say to one another

Very simply, “I love you quite a lot!”

 

I care about you,

I care about you…

 

I want the best for you.

You are definitely worth it.

You are stunning and amazing

You’re perfect and hospitable.

You’re powerful and strong and gorgeous…

Has anyone ever told you that you’re simply gorgeous?

It flows off of you so effortlessly.

 

Even when you paint and your shadow-side shows through

And you want to tear the dreaded thing in half…

Just relax…

You’re still doing it right!

 

Isn’t that surprising?

You’re perfect;

You could still be better but you’re perfect.

 

When everything else is dried up

At least we’re connected forever…

At least the darkness comes for me,

And at least you greet me in the weather.

 

When everything else is dead,

You seem to be bright.

I’m eager

To see the best in

You.

 

You fucker.

 

I’m eager to love you,

To find out that you’re actually

Doing alright.

 

You mother fucker.

 

I strive to see you in your best light.

 

It’s only when I love that which truly

Utterly fails,

That that greatest engine finally

Revs up.

Because, I mean…

Let’s just be real,

I love you.

 

I love that you keep saying

Stupid shit.

 

I love that you keep telling me

What I don’t want to hear.

 

 

I love that you keep beating me.

 

Because what else is there to love?

Who else can I love?

You stand here idly and I know that you’re

Beautiful beneath ugly clothing,

Finally, breathtakingly ugly beneath

Chiseled beauty.

 

I know that to fail inward is the most

Relaxing fall.

 

I know that to fail outward will embarrass…

In order to survive, you have to harness your own brilliance.  Brilliance is the process of loving those things which appear to be ugly at first.  By examining their ugliness, you discover their beauty.  Things that are not pleasant become pleasant when they are given space, and allowed the privilege of moving.  Things are happening on their own – you just have to tune in, very gently, and appreciate that.  Then a lot of problems start to melt away.

Let’s say you want to stop drinking, because you’ve been depressed and hangovers are awful if you’re truly depressed.  The wisest person befriends the part of their mind that arises, that considers staying away from alcohol.  And they simply wait, and let the whole situation pass by.  Then they are left without having consumed alcohol.  They befriended the confusion, and it helped them wait it out.

But how to befriend the mind?  Well, you have to start somewhere.  By becoming aware of where you are, you can celebrate that aspect.  If a friend tells you a local avant garde museum is gorgeous, you might initially feel appalled.  This museum is, after all, objectively ugly – you’ve been there!  But in truth, it is not objectively ugly – the person who enjoyed it learned to appreciate the strangeness in there, and once they saw how beautiful it was, they couldn’t unsee it.  They eventually become bored, perhaps, but that is a better way to feel than afraid.

If they were smart, they even appreciated the security guards and the other attendees.  They realized the whole situation was avant garde, and the challenge of appreciation was enlivening.

As time goes you, you start to link up your compassion with mindfulness more and more. You discover that awareness of anything can be an exercise of compassion.  You walk into a room you have to clean, and feel perturbed.  But then, you fall in love with how messed up the room is, and how step-by-step you can clean it up.  And how you can watch that improvement, in real-time.  As you soften and watch the dirt settle, watch the space reveal itself, you use that scariness as encouragement to clean it.

Since we are social creatures, this process becomes very social.  You start to realize that it’s actually an incredibly wise investment to love other people, because they’re connected to you.  Loving them is loving yourself.  And it will definitely come back to benefit you.

Something I’ve been thinking about lately is how essential it is, in today’s world, to control the opinions that you allow into your mind.  There are so many decently intelligent people out there who can express almost any idea with a modicum of intellectual gravity.  You’ll read it, feel a spark of passion, and believe them.

I know that there are many forces converging on each person, pressuring them to have certain opinions.  While we should strive to reconcile our opinions with others, please listen to your heart and also, share that opinion with people who are close to you.

I know it feels almost impossible to challenge political people, whether they are right wing or left wing.  It is also a dangerous thing to do because it can go so poorly that you walk away, having sat through a two-hour long political debate during what was supposed to be a nice holiday meal with your family.

However: once you’ve mastered your mind a bit.  Once you’ve learned how to meditate and you see thoughts less as things to indulge in, and more as sensations.  Once your heart begins to open up to the tragedies of this world.  Challenge yourself.

Embrace the difficult opinions, but simultaneously, if a view is hurting you too much…don’t be afraid of considering that it is simply too heavy to take it ultra-seriously.