The Evernote Archives Pt. 2

Here, have some more of my unfiltered giblets. See the first post of this nature here. 


Even nothingness needs something to experience it.


I’m pretty depressed so my poetry should be better, and I only know it’s winter cause of the beer bottles littered around my room and all this rain that makes me swell with joy, and the USPS is lying to me about delivering my package so I’m sure glad I pay my taxes, futility is being sent pictures of myself they year my roommate and I starved ourselves to afford weed and wondering if I could get back to that, I want to get back to that, and simultaneously I don’t care, I can’t care look at all this fucking hair, look at the constant bags under my eyes, so why do the online tests only ever grant me mild depression, I self harm just not with blades, it’s a long con, that’s how I’ll kill this sack that carries me, see im gonna milk my sorrow as long as I can, get me back in college man, do the work do do do the work yet I’m so lethargic and so middle, so bland, I want to simmer this fat and let it sauté onions to perfect brown, I want to dance on a grave to see if I feel bad, I want a fucking meaningful text back, I want less of these fucking breakup songs on my shuffle, I want to wake up three years from now and I don’t want tomorrow, I should meditate again, I should masterbate again, I should talk to more people who hate me, I should figure out if I actually love anyone, ever loved anyone, how can you know if you actually felt love(?), how can we drop the cliches, how can I further wrestle my hypocrisy and air my dirty laundry, how does this help, how can I help, everything I do is for change and all that does is isolate me, as I transition to smoke, transition to shadow and dirt and no new form relieves the hurt, and I’m making myself cry from the honesty, Jesus how long since you’ve been honest with me, everything I do to numb the pain is just vacuous now, recyclable me with recyclable vices and all the false nices, and I’m pretty depressed so why the fuck isn’t my Poetry better…


Everyone always covers their cameras on their devices, I don’t know why. Comfort in the notion that some cares enough to watch à la Truman Show, comfort in letting someone else document this moment and preserve it forever, me with a hat and hoodie indoors, drinking whiskey and reading The Waste Land outloud again while Sylvan Esso and The Velvet Underground and all that shit I collect to remind my emotions they aren’t unique crowds the airwaves, the disappointment in my eyes as I read my old annotations and realize I’m not that smart anymore, comfort in the fact that no matter how small we all are, they still have deemed us worthy of study and shots, comfort in the fact that eventually there will be a documentary about me.

Wolf Eats Midnight

Wolf Eats Midnight

 

Ever sink your teeth

Into the Moon’s candy coat

 

Ever exhale frosted breath

The color of cosmic expansion

 

Ever sprinkle sugar

Over your bowl of asteroids

 

Ever clean your plate

Of all traces of northern lights

 

Ever sip a cupful

Of black hole tea

 

Never ever eat

With a wolf like me

Prowling the Isles of the Muse Store

Prowling the Isles of the Muse Store

 

I’ve seen the looks I get

When I prowl the isles of the muse store.

Sloth eyes slithering stoned

Over packaged people

And dragging my lead indecision.

 

All the self-advertisement

Trying too hard to be a freak,

Individuality stamped right next

To the certified organic stickers.

 

Amble through the rows of

Manic pixies and strangers,

Running my hands across all the molds

Waiting for some sign of life.

I know artificial sparks by now.

 

The newer models, with their drawstring

Dialog and whimsical factory settings

Say it all right, and that perfection

Is the problem.

 

Of course, the clearance rack

And hand-me-downs should

Be where I find what I’m looking for,

And I’m fond of tracing the lines of scars,

Yet the familiarity scares me.

 

So instead I wander and touch

The cold plastic, double-checking

Price tags with the online retail prices,

Another shambling mound

 

I scuffle and shift, careful not to

Bump elbows with the others,

The Ginsberg’s and Whitman’s

And all them bearded poets

I see at our weekly meetings.

 

I’ve seen the looks I get

When I prowl the isles of the muse store,

Illuminated under that neon sign,

“Poets Must Pay In Cash.”

Hoodoo

Here’s to those

Capped by special rocks,

Holding it all on their shoulders,

 

Here’s to those

Dancing the three-six-five waltz,

Gyrating and shoe gazing,

 

Here’s to those

Silent observers stuck

In knowledge’s gloomy shadow,

 

Always here,

As always, here’s

To those

Who are here forever

 

Here’s to those

Who conspire with the rain,

Born from weeping cumulonimbus,

 

Here’s to those

Desert dwellers and

Inanimate Northwest golems,

 

Here’s to those

Casting oblong shadows

Without a audience to care,

 

Always here,

As always, here’s

To those

Who are here forever,

Those who are here

Holding it all on their shoulders.

Late Night Double-Feature Creature

She was getting real sick,

            Gotta give em what they want boys,

Of being asked to the late night double–feature,

            Gotta make lots of noise,

The on with the monster flick first,

            Cars spilled like popcorn convoys,

She was looking for a real reason to apply lipstick,

            Gotta wear that sweater she enjoys,

The kind of kiss to confess to her preacher,

            Gotta fight the urge to be coy,

A fella with Coca-Cola eyes to quench her thirst,

            Yawn and stretch with perfect poise,

A hand on her thigh totally unrehearsed,

            Gotta drop the cliché ploys,

Pushed up against the dashboard heater,

            Gotta tune out the Mummy noise,

She was tired of feeling like a lunatic,

            No matter what her heart destroys,

Of repressing her inner creature,

            Gotta make lots of noise,

Of silver screen laws enforced,

            Gotta give em what they want boys,

 

 

She was getting real sick of being asked to the late night double-feature flicks,

She was getting real sick of being asked by those protagonist boys,

She, the only real late night double-feature creature.

Climate’s Change

(via Daily Post, Finite)

 

The flames are always finite,

For they rely on the generous giving of

Others bodies for their warmth.

Eventually they get climatized

To the predatory pity and decide to fade,

Ash to dirty ash, spinning and

Cackling like newborns

As they spin free, dust returned

To dust, so fine it lingers

In your life line and love line

Through each wash, growing darker

And more a part of your skin.

Continue reading

We Used to Talk

Ponder with me, if you will, 

Those distant cousins who crafted language. 

To emerge, erect and erect from

The shadows, the lack, the before, 

Into the mistakes of Eve. Imagine

The poetry rolling through 

Hills of tongues, fjords of teeth, 

Just to taste it and birth bird song. 

Imagine how the moon conspired

To create romance and lust,

The Sun spawning wonder and the guteral sound of art, 

Doubt oozing out of the swollen snakebite

And the venomous glee in being

The smith of words just to hurt. 

Ponder the creation of song and wails, 

The utterance of a messiah and the horns of Jericho, 

The white horse and death rattle. 

Now, Speak. 

Help Me Name This Poem!

Howdy folks. Quick look into my writing process offered up here. I always write my pieces without titles (or vice versa and create titles without poems) and then try to find a title that sums up the work at the end. This one eludes me. Like, I have no fucking clue what to call it. So, I offer this untitled work to you, and give anyone who reads this the opportunity to give it a name. Until I get your help it will remain nameless and unloved, and it’s my baby. Help me name my wee little baby, wouldn’t you? kthanxbai…

 

Untitled

Garbed in militant wools

and all this black,

rakish smile hidden away

in a back pocket next to a wallet

that’s mostly just symbolic,

we head for that millennial dive bar

hoping the nosebleed seats

lack their usual sweat stains

and sorrowful middle age women

that are so fond of Springsteen,

but hey, they give me free shots

of well whiskey, which serves as a whetstone

for my blade of wit, which

exists to vanquish every friend who approaches

and wants to comment on my physical appearances

like I did it for them, folks

honest enough to admit that the rest of us

are just background, still, their heads shall not roll

because of childhood agreements,

those peace treaties of the past.

As for you, I suppose you could have

stayed home, or crept across the rooftops

and just watched this show of force,

My dirty feet slapping the spilled drink floor

all off tempo and my paws pulling

at the off kilter top on a little countess,

but you make a good alibi,

conversation, and walking stick,

a compass to my heart

and the mask I’ll wear

In the two AM revolution.

Shadow Boxing

A great fear of mine

Resides in the uneven

Angles of light waves

And the subsequent shadow

I cast not being able

To stand up to the ghost

Burns of Hiroshima. What

They have is so forever, etched

Into stone and dancing immortal

In the fire of God’s eyes.

 

My partner flickers.

He grows and shrinks

And hides, never

Showing me as is

Or as possible, but

Simply as an after thought.

 

I took my shadow out to an old

Abandoned limekiln surrounded

By choppy ocean and broad-leaf

Trees and waited until

Sunset. Using the powder

Discarded at the base, I attempted

To trace my shadow into the

Cliffs so he’d finally

Know what he could look

Like at his best.

 

Eager to not be another

Subtitle under sorrowful

Photographs in dusty,

Dull textbooks, my shadow

Left me to the darkness

With chalky hands.

Chalky hands, and the

Incomplete shape of who

I am, or will be, etched

Into stone and dancing immortal

In the breeze of the moon’s hair.